Walking home, I was just thinking how lucky I was to have not gotten rained on despite the flash-flood that occurred while I was on the train, when I got hit with this tidal wave, and consequently soaked to the bitter bone, by two seventeen year old dicks in an Acura, who actually stopped and backed up to taunt me. In the seven or eight seconds I had available to me to retaliate I could only summon a dripping, fangless, "Fuck you, cocksucker," when only seconds later it occurred to me that the optimum response would have been to smash a bottle of beer or the jar of spaghetti sauce I'd just bought for dinner on the side of their car. Or something similarly brake-inducing. I'm no Evander Holyfield, but they were both tiny children and I'm confident that any grievous bodily harm resulting from a physical confrontation would not have been my own. I've never been particularly attached to the idea of a fair fight, so two weedy high-schoolers would be just my speed. Alas! my reaction time was too slow, and they sped off, likely to menace other harmless but potentially psychopathic pedestrians, leaving me grumbling like a Scooby Doo villain.

On the other hand, the melody of this song has been making me happy all day, when I should be exhausted and miserable (considering I only slept for about 75 minutes last night):

Linda Scott - I've Told Every Little Star